To Read on the Journey

Saturday, August 28, 2010

ready or not, here HE comes

noah starts school in 2 days.

i'm not ready.

i cry to God, " i'm not ready."

He tenderly reminds me of other times i said i wasn't ready...

i wasn't ready to leave my hometown and move to these mountains for what i though was one summer 17 years ago (i met michael that summer, and have been here ever since)

i wasn't ready 1 month before our 1st wedding anniversary, 23 years old, holding a positive pregnancy test,  

when noah was 14 months old, i was absolutely NOT ready for his new baby sister to join our family (and on top of that 7 weeks early).

i wasn't ready when each of my children took their first steps, slept in big beds, began kindergarten, stayed with g-ma for a weekend, swam in the deep end, went to camp for two weeks...

and i will in NO WAY  be ready when they go to high school, drive, graduate, go to college, leave my nest. 

God gently points out that i may never be ready, and that is okay, because HE is.

"Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it IS GOD who determines his steps."

God asked me to look back, and hope forward...

to look back and see His faithfulness (i could not write enough blog posts to share all the ways He has been faithful), and to hope forward, trusting His plan...

because ready or not, here He comes.

in 2 days noah WILL GO to school.  he will walk away from me, into a class of 30 jr. highers, and into his (HIS) future.
 
It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the Truth

And if I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

I pray that God will fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

By Mark Harris

7 comments:

Tasha said...

Good luck. It is so true. I am too often not ready either. I guess not only is He ready, but he is teaching us each step to learn new things too. I am grateful he guides us. I would be lost otherwise.

Paige said...

Well, let's hope he does not cry like Caroline has since starting pre-k! :)
I will be praying for you. You have trained him well (if, in fact, you are to be believed--LOL)---now is his time to let his light shine!

Love you!
paige

The Writer Chic said...

I'll be praying for you Monday.

Stacey said...

My oldest starts Kindergarten in a week and I'm also not ready. I just recently did a post about this very same thing! I'm praying for bravery for both of us!

Simply Sara said...

"look back and hope forward."
this is going to be my new motto.

praying for you my sweet friend.
noah will do amazing.
you will do amazing.

and may you be so overwhelmed by His peace.

kim said...

thank you for my morning cry!
i love your post today!

denise said...

Firsts (and lasts) can be so hard. Keep trusting Him through this new season.