To Read on the Journey

Monday, June 30, 2008

moment of fame

I received this phone call on Sunday from my friend Diane Vaccaro (who i should have blogged about weeks ago when she visited from Gig Harbor, Washington).

Don't you just love Diane! She is a beautiful, enthusiastic, contagious person! (but i still wouldn't share my nachos with her- an upcoming post :-))

Here is Beth Moore's promo video.

I have done many of Beth Moore's studies, and attended Beth Moore's conference in Dec. 06. The conference was "wonderful," and i did "enter into the mystery" of God.
If you are looking for a great, challenging, life-moving bible study, i encourage you to check out any of Beth Moore's studies.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Fake it till you make it

I have heard this phrase a lot,"fake it till you make it."
Fake the- emotions, fitting in, the ability, the desire.
Sometimes faking it is necessary. If I didn't, I would stay home on my couch and choose not to engage. I would isolate myself when fear set in, I would sit in disbelief thinking myself incapable. If I didn't fake it, I would miss out on many blessings.

I have been reading C.S. Lewis'
Mere Christianity. He talks about 'dressing up' like Christ.

For many of my Christ-life years I played dress up, playing a part
I wanted to be ("I" being the keyword in the sentence). I dressed up as perfect Christian high schooler, Christian youth leader, intern, Christian preschool teacher, Christian camp employee, Christian friend, Christian wife, Christian parent with perfect kids, Christian wedding coordinator, nursery coordinator, Christian mentor, Bible-study leader, MOPS leader,and worship leader.

Now, I am not saying that these things are bad. I believe that God wanted me to be a part of these ministries. There have been too many blessings to count being a part of these ministries. But, sadly I wonder if I missed out on the GREATEST BLESSING- Jesus.
Instead of putting on Jesus, I put on pride with each new ministry. And I believed I was something. I really wanted to be something, because for too many years I had felt like a nothing.

Here is a conversation I had 5 yrs ago with a girl I mentored (a conversation I had when I thought I was something), "if God is making us perfect, finishing us to completion, well I'm there, He might as well take me home."
Can I just say

PRAISE GOD that, "He builds it up, and He knocks it down, just to build it up even stronger"(words from Jill Phillips song Wrecking Ball).

I confess, I struggle. I want to be somebody, valued, wanted, needed, desired, treasured, believed in, capable, beautiful.... And it is hard to set this want aside, and put on Christ.
And I can't. But He can.

I know now that God is making me nothing, so that He can be the Something, the EVERYTHING, in my life.
But it isn't easy.

"The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to 'inject' His kind of life and thought, into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin."

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


"Even in childhood was implanted within me a trace of that mysterious unity from which I was derived"
St. Augustine

Last week marked the 20th anniversary of when I gave my life to Jesus. It seems though that I have always known Him. In the depths of me there was always a knowing, longing, missing, wanting of Him. At one time I would have thought that after 20 yrs of living this Christ-life that longing would lessen. Now I know the longing becomes greater. I want more of that "mysterious unity."

Thursday, June 19, 2008

20 yrs

This is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the day, this is the day,
That the Lord has made.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Lake House

The in-laws have a beautiful home on Bass Lake which they rent out weekly for the summers. However, they are renter-less for 2 weeks. So, when my mother-in-law asked if we wanted to
come and stay during that time, I quickly responded with a, "YES!"
We are loving the beauty of the lake, relaxing (away from the pressure of the to-do's at home), swimming, tanning, magazine browsing, reading, running, canoe rides with Noah, and evening walks to The Pines for ice cream. We especially love how popular we are! Our social calendar is very full now that we are at the lake. We have play-dates everyday (which makes this extroverted, lover of people, very happy)!

(i am having difficulty uploading the desired photos, ugghh! that means there will be much more to share later).

Friday, June 6, 2008

15 years ago

i'm gonna start from the beginning, because i love this God story...

It began in early spring of 1993, when i began to pray this prayer in preparation for Easter, "Dear God please help me to understand Jesus' pain when He died on the cross." Let me tell you that along with "give me patience," well (in my experience), your just asking for it!

On Good Friday i had a handful of friends over to my home (i was living with a friend's family- the Boeses). My friends and i were planning on going rafting down the Stanislaus River, but before we headed out we took the 4 runner for a spin on the property. Just a little f.y.i. -4 runners, do not turn easily on asphault, they also do not stop if they do not have breaks. Which is why the 4 runner i was on went off a 14 ft cliff. i (along with a friend) landed in a berry patch below. Thankfully i had only broken my collarbone. And though i know it doesn't come close to the pain Jesus endured for us, i have never prayed that prayer again!

Because i had a broken collarbone i was unable to drive myself for a time, so i attended church with the Boese family. While at their church, a woman i had been aqquainted with asked me to be a counselor for her 6th grade classes' science camp at Camp Oakhurst. i dreaded asking for more time off from work (teaching preschool, and working as an after school recreation leader) as i had already missed some work due to my injury, but the time was given to me, and in May i came to Camp Oakhurst.

That week, away from life in Oakdale, God and i did a lot of talking. One important question i asked was what He wanted me to do for the summer (as both my jobs ended for the summer). At the end of the week, as we prepared to load the van to return home, an employee at the camp offered me a job for the summer. It was obvious where God wanted me that summer!

4 weeks later i cut my hair short (which is important to know for an upcoming post), loaded up my 65 Ford Falcon with all my belongings, and came to Oakhurst for just the summer... 15 years ago.

Back then i would have never left Oakdale had i known it would have been for good. I had a community, church, friends, and jobs that i loved. 15 years later i have a community, church, friends, family, and mommy job i love. God is full of surprises! i wonder what the next 15 hold!

Thursday, June 5, 2008


6 billion people live in this world and I can only think of one- me.

That's the difference between us and Jesus- He was always thinking of us.

Donald Miller

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Stew Off

Last fall, my good friend Julie and I had a Stew Off.
We each made a stew for dinner and hoped to determine whose was the best.
I was
shocked when she served what appeared to be a roast.
Julie is sadly confused. I cannot blame her she grew up in the casserole eating era.
Her mother likely served her a variety of dishes smothered in cream of mushroom soup, and passed it off as edible food. She doesn't know better.

And now,
Julie (she doesn't know when to stop), has challenged me again, but this time to a blogging Stew Off.

So I ask you what is Stew to you!?

Is it roast- like, served on a plate, eaten with a fork?

... is it soup like, served in a bowl, eaten with a spoon?

And i'll have you know Julie, that when you google for vegetable beef stew photos and recipes, they're ALL soups! Your going down!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Flip for My Flops!

I joined in on the fun at Alana's Blogiversary Flip Flop Swap, and got these TERRIFIC flops from Shelly in Missouri!

I loved waiting for my surprise package, from a surprise giver!
What fun to have something chosen
especially for me by someone else.
Great taste Shelly! And great idea Alana!