To Read on the Journey

Friday, April 11, 2014

A Million Yeses

For as long as I can remember I envied other children who were loved in every way by their parents.
For as long as I can remember I wanted that too.

And for as long as I can remember I've thought, "they have something I don't have," and asked, "why don't I?"

Over the years I've come up with about a million reasons why they do and I don't.

I now know those thoughts were from the devil,  and for a million reasons I wish I would've "shut him the hell up" back then.

But I didn't.  

Soon, I started looking at, well, just about everything through a blurry lens of "they have what I don't," and "why don't I have that too?"
They have good parents. Why don't I?
They have nice houses. Why don't I?
They have the stylish clothes. Why don't I?
They have popularity.  Why don't I?

This is how it went when I was younger, and the only thing that has changed over the years is that there have been more "they haves" and more "why don't I's" added.

They have money.  Why don't I?
They have health. Why don't I?
They have ability.  Why don't I?

The real issue was... no, is,  that I have been ticked off at God, for, from my {blurry} perspective, showing them favor and withholding it from me.

"Ticked off"  is actually the nice way of putting it.  Truth is, of the million reasons I came up with as to why good things were withheld from me, about 900,000 of those reasons were because of God.
Recently, I heard a song that speaks what feels like a million truths into this area.
It's another Sara Groves song- Open My Hands.

Before you listen to it (Oh, and I hope you don't skip that part, and that you do... especially if you've had blurry vision, too) Sara shared the following in an interview regarding the inspiration of the song.

From Psalm 84:11
"the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

Sir Richard Baker comments, "but how is this true when God often withholds riches, and honors, and health of body from men though they walk ever so uprightly?  We may therefore know that riches and honors and bodily strength are none of God's good things, and the good things of God are chiefly; peace of conscience, joy in the holy Spirit, fruition of God's presence, and a vision of His face in the next.  These good things God never withholds from the godly. 

"riches and honor and strength of body are none of God's good things"

My vision has been so distorted as to what "good things" are.

Now listen


 "I am nodding my head and emphatic yes to all that You have for me."  

I am nodding my head a million yeses!

A million yeses to God's good things; to peace, and joy in the Spirit, to present God, to the promise of one day being fully with Him.

Oh, His good things are the best things.

 Live in Peace,


Simply Sara said...

i will open my hands, open my all that He has for me. yes, yes and yes.

my vision has been distorted too. so very, terribly distorted.

wow. i need to let this post marinate in my heart for awhile i think....

oh how i adore you denise!!

Tegan Aubrie | Twelve13 said...

Beautiful, beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing, D.

Linda Z said...

So much to think about here. Thanks for putting all this into words. It's a struggle every day with my health, and I have been very ticked off. :( I need to remember to open my hands and open my heart.

Kelli said...

Such a beautiful and powerful post. Thank you!

Christina Schergen said...

goooooooood stuff. My childhood was far from perfect....but I think sometimes that makes us better mothers...we want to be the kind of parent we wanted.hugs and loved your thoughts!