MOG Dress

in 6 weeks i'm going to be a MOG! 

"mother of graduate"

{an 8th grade graduate}.

isn't the MOG suppose to purchase a pretty dress for the occasion?

huh? 

different  MOG.

are you sure? 

cause i think this MOG needs to wear one of these lovelies to the celebration.  

 what do you think?

all dresses available at eshakti.com

 

speaking of dresses and noah~ when my almost-8th-grade-graduate was 5 he declared that when he grew up he was going to marry me. he said i was going to wear a green polka-dot dress to the wedding.  he said we would have chocolate chip cake and dance to "how sweet it is."

noah.  

he knows how to tug on this mama's heart strings...

tugs on them, gives the look, and i'm wrapped around his almost-in-high-school finger.

a few years ago he took back my ring-pop and broke off our engagement. 

it was fun while it lasted. 

so i was thinking maybe he'd get a kick out of his MOG wearing this to his graduation? 

or maybe the red one, i really like the red one. 

noah's first crush

this short clip was made by noah and his friend, carson.

it's so funny i almost wet myself.

nothing is worth more than this day!

on his own

one evening last week noah asked to talk to us.

his eyes were glossy and his spirit tender.  it was evident he had something important to say.

he talked for a bit about youth group.
that night his leader had asked, "how do you know you are going to heaven?"
one kid thought he would go to heaven because he rescued a drowning dog from a pool.
noah told him that, "we are saved through our faith in Jesus, not by works."
his leader asked, "who in this group deserves to go to heaven?"
a kid in the group pointed at noah and said, "that kid."
noah replied, "i don't deserve to go to heaven anymore than any of you. it is only because of Jesus that we deserve to go to heaven."
after sharing this with us, he talked about pride and humility.
he thoughtfully communicated that he wants to have humility.
he expressed his desire to make jesus look good.  

next he talked about jr. high, and his experience in traditional school last year
as a 7th grader.
he talked about feelings of acceptance and rejection.

then he talked about God.
he said that last year he wasn't sure about God.
he looked at us like we would be disappointed.
we weren't.
we told him questioning was good, and that he needed to find the Truth on his own.

he told us he wasn't sure about God, then he went to camp.
at camp he watched his counselors really know and love God.
he wanted that.

he shared that when he came home from camp he gave his life to jesus.

joy. 

as he shared all this he looked radiant -like moses coming down the mountain after being face to face with God- like he had, that evening, been face to face with God, working out his salvation.

you're hot then you're cold...

birds are endothermic.
do you know what endothermic is?
if you do you are brilliant. 
if you don't that is okay.  i'm sure you know other interesting things and are brilliant, too. 
it is only because of homeschooling that i know what endothermic is {and a whole slew of other things i somehow missed learning the 13 yrs i was schooled}. 
simply put, for a bird it means that they transfer the energy from their food into energy to keep their bodies at the same temperature ALL the time.

because i hate being cold i would like to be a bird {being clothed in pretty feathers, and flying would be a major bonus}.  i am a winter wimp.  i am  currently draped in an electric throw blanket, the heater is on, and two space heaters are purring.  instead i am dressed like a bird -in layers of down- to ward off winter chills.  i also hate being hot.  not being affected by sweltering temps in june when it hits 106 would be off-the-hook!

i was thinking earlier that i would like to be endothermic emotionally.   i was thinking it would be easier if i could keep my emotions at one temperature ALL the time.

instead of being emotionally high AND low, i would be calm and collected, all. the. time. 

that would be nice.
nice would be easy.
i think i'd like easy.

while i was thinking about how easy even-keel would be, i griped to God.  because i am not  emotionally endothermic, i yarp at God a lot.

i yarp about being the likely inspiration for katy perry's lyric's~ "you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down."

i yarp about other people, who from my perspective {which is questionable}, seem to be emotionally the same temperature all the time.  when i am a basket-case i am cocktail of envious of them and embarrassed of myself.

i yarp about my roller-coastering emotions being a regular occurrence {with increases at certain times of the month or when my stash of closet chocolate is out} i whine at God a lot.  thankfully, God is "gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and quick in love" {i need it}.

because God is quick in love, He doesn't let me reside in my yarp forever.  He waits for me to cry it out, then lifts up my head.  When my tears are wiped away and i can see more clearly He reminds me of His mercies, and why He allows me to have emotions.

He reminds me of emotions that have stung {still sting}.  the sting of being denied by my father, abandoned by my mother, left by step-dads, and other sucky things that could have lead me to the bottle, but instead lead me straight to His arms at Hume Lake Christian Camp in 1988.

He allows my emotions to remind me of the grief of being unwanted, of believing myself unworthy of love {feelings that, occasionally, still grieve me}.  Then as deeply as my emotions plunge, so heavenly do they fly!  when i remember how how the Rescuer brought me out of defeat and into abundant life in Christ!

{ michael, noah, emilie &  josie, and this life i live with them in Christ's love, 

is leaps and bounds  more abundant than i could have dreamed or imagined}

He tells me my emotions are a gift, that lead me into His arms,
causing me to need Him every hour,
and  in every circumstance.

if i were emotionally one temperature all the time i wouldn't need my Savior.

maybe needing Him is the most beautiful thing about me.
 

put another way

I pray that God causes each of us to embrace the curves, angles, and crooked that He allows in our lives to draw us into His cozy arms, and for Grace to cause us to see each other most beautiful when we NEED Savior.  


note:after writing this post i learned that people are endothermic. i should probably get a few more years of homeschooling under my belt before i use sciency terms  in my posts. 

smells like roast beef

as i type the house smells like roast beef. it smells like roast because yesterday as i was getting fish out of my freezer to make for dinner {yes, fish! eaten 6x since jan 1.},  i discovered a roast and a ham that my sister," toni bologna full of macaroni," brought us in january. discovering food you didn't know you had in march when gas prices are astronomical is AWESOME.
{thank you, t.b.f.o.m}.

while i am typing, my husband and daughter are hanging this chandelier.

as a gift for my birthday i asked my creative m.i.l., cindy {who the kids use to call "cinderella," because we told them that was her real name}, if she would make me a chandelier for our new entryway.

i didn't give her any suggestions. cindy is very creative and really good at making things.  she made my husband.  'nuf said.

i like the simplicity of the chandy with the burlap shades.  thank you cindy!

 

sometimes i am good at making things too.  i  made her.  

emilie is wearing an apron because before she and michael were hanging my new chandelier they were making foccacia bread to eat with our roast for dinner.

{good thing i walked 4 hilly miles earlier}.  

as you can see, while michael and emilie hung my chandelier, i was being annoying helpful by taking  photos of them.

i snapped this shot immediately after fulfilling my one job of turning on the light.

upon seeing michael's expression on my canon power-shot screen i announced, "i am going to blog that picture!"
to which michael responded,  "no you're not."

as i post the photo, unaware michael, is done hanging my new fancy chandy and is immersed in a game of wii with noah. 

noah had his mop hair cut this week.
against his will.

thankfully, after his locks were abducted a few girls swooned over him and his new do {the girls may or may not be limited to his mother and sisters}.

 

16 weeks of puking, and i made him too.

i made her last.  

josie is pictured with my "grandaughter, elise denise." someday she will make me real grandchildren. hopefully she does not name them "elise denise." 

although i am not as inventive as my m.i.l.,  last week i attempted a bit of creativity and whipped up this pillow.  it took 30 minutes and no puking to make {unlike another pillow which claimed to take 30 minutes, but consumed an entire day}.

 it was so easy to make that another 30 minutes later i had an identical pillow for the other couch.

the striped couches like the pop of red color.

my walls on the other hand are undecided on the pops of color that they would like to have permanently reside on them.

none of these colors is a contender.  they were slathered on two weeks ago and will likely remain here, driving o.c.d.-me crazy, until gas prices go down.

gas prices have made paint purchasing impossible.

gas prices have also made pot-roast purchasing impossible,
which is why i am really thankful for the roast my sister gave us months ago.

which happens to be ready now. 

as well as the homemade foccacia bread. 

while i inhale dinner i'm going to think about how very good my life is, despite unpainted walls and sky rocketing gas prices.  i'm going to think about free roasts, a gifted chandy, a handsome man, and 3 amazing children, which God generously provided for me long before i asked. 

what has God recently provided you with before your asking?

tuesday

it's tuesday and my three are at our home-school charter site for the next 4.5 hours taking classes and tests.  i am home alone.  i can't remember the last time i was alone for 4.5 hours.

josie took my strawberry shortcake lunch pail to school today.  she said her fabric lunch pail  "smelled like barf."  my 1980 lunch pail smells like "awesome."

last week emilie got a new full-size bed.  she is excited about her teenagey room and has big pinteresty plans for it.  twelve-year-old emilie needs to get a job if she wants to see her plans come to fruition.

i'm glad that though emilie's room is transforming into a "big girl" room, she still has her cow, mabel, on her bed.  after emilie named her cow mabel, i told her it reminded of the sitcom "mad about you," where character's paul and jamie also named their daughter, mabel, because "mother's always bring extra love."  sappy.   
 
when we have guests they will stay in emilie's room.  a full size bed is guest insurance. insuring that guests will be comfy for a few nights, but will miss the spaciousness of their own queens and kings and want to go home.

 

josie wanted emilie's twin so she could have bunk-beds again.  josie isn't a type "a" personality like her mother and brother and sister and is fine living with clutter {i envy her}.  knowing this, i told josie that one of the beds has to be made at all times. i warned her that if it is not i will take away her socks and make her wear matching white socks for a week!  she looked at me like that is the worst punishment she would ever have to endure {it would be hard on all of us. we really love her colorful feet}.

we came up with a method for deciding which bed josie will sleep in each night, roe-sham-beau. for three nights in a row i have won and josie has slept on the top.  i have mad rock-paper-scizzor skills.

we have lived in this house for 3.5 months and in that time the girls- who wanted their own rooms- have had sleepovers in each others rooms at least 2x per week.  i asked why they were having these weekly slumber parties, to which emilie replied, "i like having our own rooms but i miss the conversations we would have when we got in bed each night."

have i mentioned that i love how they love each other.

years ago i purchased this banana hanger to display a large round purple ornament that was gifted to me.  a few weeks ago i unpacked the banana hanger and hung bananas on it.  noah thought my creativity to use the ornament hanger as a banana hanger was genius.  funny. 

speaking of noah, last week we registered him for high school classes.  before registering we packed into a multipurpose room with other freshman expectant parents.  the principal opened with "what to expect when you graduate from high school."  whoooaaa nellie!  'didn't i come here to register my baby for high school!?!?'   college is another 4.5 years away... 

COLLEGE IS ONLY 4.5 YEARS AWAY!!!  

somebody hold me.

4.5 years... reminds me that i only have 4.5 hours without my kids, and what do i do??
blog about them.

the truth is i  tire of being with them all the live long days, BUT i can't stand being without them either.

i'm crazy about these people! 

i saw this video by david & jj heller the other day over at linda's blog
{thank you linda for sharing it. it makes me a thousand kinds of happy}.
i feel this way about my kids.
i feel this way about my good good man, too.

If you were a boat, my darling

A boat, my darling

I'd be the wind at your back

If you were afraid, my darling

Afraid, my darling

I'd be the courage you lack

If you were a bird, then I'd be a tree

And you would come home, my darling, to me

If you were asleep, then I'd be a dream

Wherever you are, that's where my heart will be

Oh, do you know we belong together?
Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

 

If you were the ocean, I'd be the sand

If you were a song, I'd be the band

If you were the stars, then I'd be the moon

A light in the dark, my darling, for you

Oh, do you know we belong together?

Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

Oh, do you know we belong together?

Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

Oh, do you know we belong together?

Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

hello monday

joining lisa leonard, for "hello monday."
(she's hosting a give-away today. go check it out!)


hello to reading exodus.

to God allowing the Israelite people to suffer slavery under Pharaoh, so that they would desire deliverance, and see the I-AM-Present God.

  thank you God, for allowing me to experience hardship, so that i will

"NEED THEE EVERY HOUR," 

will see you bring me out of my captivity, 

and have intimacy with You, the I-AM-Present God.

hello to racing to get the last two pieces of this bread.

apple cinnamon crunch bread from the great harvest bread company. 

crazy good.

hello laundry day.

so glad i have 3 big helpers to help me tackle it.

hello lesson planning.  i'm sorry i neglected you last week.

really sorry. 

hello to setting up an etsy shop.

details coming soon.

hello pretty flowers from michael for my pretty vase on our pretty new table.

 don't be surprised if i procrastinate a bit  lot of what i should do today 

 to gaze at your beauty. 

hello mailing out the last of the ground hog's day cards.

good bye to mailing out cards during Christmas forever!

What are you saying hello to this week?

2011 Favorites

2011 Favorite People, Moments, and Posts

Soil Soul

I take God's breath away.  You, His beloved, take God's breath away.

"God breathes life into dirt."

"Horror Moans"

Chocolate, a tweenage daughter, and "horror moans."

Significant

as she walks away i recall sitting on the couch hours earlier.

reminded of  insignificance,

i hear the still small Voice,

"you, denise are significant in my kingdom.

you are making a Name for me."

tell

i talk too much... about Him. 

The Air I Breath

my deflated lungs are filled... He is the Air i breath. 

Blessing

noah looked at emilie, and began...

"emilie, you are the sweetest, kindest, most loving person i know...

Fall

 we intentionally release our grips on the ordinary, and fall
into the EXTRAORDINARY gift
we are to each other.  

i don't know about you, but i am ready for a New Year.  i'm ready and need to begin again.

no resolutions for me (i'd fail them by jan 3rd), but here are some things i'd like to be very intentional about this new year. 

in  2012 i want to...

"enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart"  everyday.  no  more excuses.

be with people.  be intentional community. 

roller-skate in my house regularly  (take advantage of the concrete floors while we've got'em).

kiss my husband more and longer. 

read my bible (kiss God more and longer).  

be creative with my children, even though it makes a mess or requires time. 

read to my kids.  i don't know what? (suggestions please) 

eat fish (i hate fish). 

play with my kids.

walk.  it's good for my body and my mind.

take more pictures. 

play my guitar

be outside. 

read the books i own again.  

drink water. 

sing too much.

write to my future. 

breath in Grace, and breath it out.

Happy New Year!

 

i'm possible.

 photo from pinterest.  get it here. 

one version of dueteronomy 29:29b says, "The truth that has been revealed to you will not be taken from you or your children's children."

i love that.
love it.

i count on it.

i count on all the truth that is being revealed to me to belong to my children and to my children's children!  is there anything that i want more?  no.  absolutely nothing.

if you contrast my childhood to my children's it would be evident that i had so much of the opposite of truth poured into me.

but God.

He had people written into my story, who at the time seemed to play a very small role, but i see now were strategically penned in to illuminate Truth.  These individuals were devoted to, spoke of,  and pointed the way to God. They gave me nuggets of Truth that i now know were tucked into my being.

one of those nuggets was was given to me on Christmas day 1980.
(let me set the stage a little on 1980:  i was 7.  my sister and i had been living with my mom and first step-dad for 1 year, exactly.  that year my dad began bullying me, telling me a number of times and in a number of hurtful ways that i was not his daughter.  pot and promiscuity were not hidden from my young eyes}. 
  this nugget of truth came by way of a blue record player & record given to my younger sister and i by our first step-grandparents.  the record was Bill Gaither Trios,' Just For Kids.

my sister and i enjoyed the independence we had having our very own record player.  we played our record again and again and again, singing and parading around our strawberry shortcake bedroom together to the Trio.  one song on the album quickly became a favorite for us both, " i am a promise."

"i am a promise. i am a possibility. i am a promise with a capitol "P." i am a great big bundle of potentiality... 
i can be anything, 
anything God wants me to be." 

slather on the blue eyeshadow and listen to this vintage gaither.

i can't begin to explain the impact these lyrics had on that 7 yr old girl.  they caused me to BELIEVE  i. was. more.   intended to be NOT what my circumstances had assumed i would be,  BUT what God wanted me to be.

"it doesn't matter where you live, 

who your daddy is, or what you look like...

you can be exactly what God wants you to be, 

and He has something very special in mind for you."

did He ever! 

so today i praise God for the people He so thoughtfully and generously wrote into my life to bring Light into my darkness.  i praise Him that He is the God of all Hope. i count on Him to continue to reveal His Truth to me, and to also give this Truth to my children, and my children's children.  

what nugget of Truth did God give you as a child, 

that has not been taken from you?

the details

hi all. 

i miss you. 

the other day i mentioned to michael that i haven't spent much time with my friends- the ones that live in the computer- and that i miss them. miss you. 

you know how when you don't talk with someone for a while, you don't always know where to begin? do you pick up where you left off, fill them in on what's been happening, or both?  

do you ever let doubt seep in and think, 'oh they don't really care to know the details of my life anyway?' 

i've been thinking that...

but then i realize i care about the details of your lives.  really.  i like you that much.  i want to know that you had beautiful family photos taken, and that you were a bridesmaid in a beautiful wedding at a library!  i want to see the people you love that you visited in oklahoma, and i want to know what is stirring in your heart.  i want to see what you wore wednesday because you are adorable. and  you, well i just need to hang out with you here in blogville for a bit {real life would be better}.  i want to learn from you all 40 things you have learned in your 40 yrs of life!  from you i really need to be encouraged to do Christmas on purpose this year too.  you, well you i just need to see because you are too far away and i miss you terribly.  as for you and you , i have noticed you haven't been around for a while either. it's okay, but come back soon.  and no i didn't forget you, you, or you. i am so fond of all of you.

knowing how i feel about you got me thinking maybe just maybe you want to know what's been going on with me too. 

well, here ya go...

i had a birthday {the same day as her}.  i am 30-old now {which by the way is one year younger than 30-oldest}.   my husband took the day off.  he made me this for breakfast.

{photo taken in instag.ram}
s'more french toast! i created it when we went camping this summer {it redeem camping}- french toast filled with marshmallows and chocolate, drizzled in maple syrup, and sprinkled with powdered sugar-  INSANELY GOOD!  {birthdays are guilt free eating days. i wish it was my birthday right now}.

after breakfast we ran away from all of our responsibilities and traveled a couple hours north to knight's ferry to take family photos on the historical knight's ferry bridge.

you might remember that michael and i celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in september.

this bridge is where he asked me to marry him {*swoon*}

i wanted to have  a 15yr photo of us there now.

a  snapshot of how our life has changed since those moments on knight's ferry bridge when he was on bended knee asking if i would be his.

i'm glad i said yes.

so glad.

{and yes, noah is my oldest. yes, emilie (14.5 months younger) has surpassed him in height. all noah wants for Christmas is a growth spurt} 
 
after michael took the photos {which was comical; set timer, run back, pose, repeat}

we went to oakdale- "the happiest place on earth"- and had dinner at one of my favorite childhood restaurants, farrarese's. 

it was good to run away together, the 5 of us.  to ditch the house remodel, the packing to move, the home-school, the work, the 3 side jobs.  it was necessary to remember Who we live for and all He has given us in each other.

we have a tradition on birthdays to give blessings {which reminds me i have needed to post about this and do a give-away for some time.  remind me.}  with the weight of our responsibilities and my weighed down attitude accompanying it i wondered if my family would have words of affirmation to speak into my life.  they did.  emilie wrote hers in a letter. wanna see!?! okay.

she loves me and sees me and reminds me of who i am even when i forget. *love*

in move-in news this last week outlet covers and vent covers went up.  woohoo!  bedroom doors were hung {is that right, do you hang the doors?} 2 days ago. exciting times.
jessica is hosting her pintertest kitchen tomorrow {holla!}  my kitchen is currently the epitome of a pinterTEST.   as soon as i am done with this post and the kids are done with school, i am heading to home depot {for the trillionth time this month} to purchase my 3rd gallon of gray paint for the kitchen. {white cabinets on top, gray on the bottom... idea from pinterest.  pinterest may be the death of my husband}.

as for other details- like most of you- i too am gearing up for the Christmas season.  this year however is going to be grace-Christmas, because i am going to need a lot of it {i usually do, i just don't recognize it}!  i'm going to practice {in excess} being okay with things not being the way i desperately want them to be in my o.c.d./perfectionist head.   the usual advent planning and intentional heartfelt gifts are likely not going to happen this year. that is okay. it's okay because Jesus is more than enough for us this Christmas {every Christmas. every day}. 
God already planned the most magnificent advent {coming, expecting}, and gave the hands-down most heartfelt gift 2000+ years ago in Jesus.   grace- Christmas is going to cause me to let go of trying to out do Him {like i could} and instead embrace and enjoy the Savior, Immanuel God with us.

Merry, Merry!