i feel this need to apologize to anyone i have ever been a hypocrite to. and that pretty much covers everybody.
i want to apologize for not looking at Jesus. instead, i looked to people. and like many of the people i looked to, i became a character in a christian play. good at playing the part christian, but not so good at being one.
i was intended to be a little Christ. i wanted to be a little Christ, but my eyes weren't fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. they were fixed somewhere else. fixed on the church, and looking like church people.
"it often seems that what we really want is for people who are not Christians to think we are valid, or Christianity is valid, rather than showing them Jesus. " "It is true that people need Jesus, not religion. And yet at times I am more concerned our most passionate missionary endeavors are more concerned with redeeming our identity as Christians than with presenting Jesus to a world looking for God."
now don't misunderstand me, i LOVE the church body! and now more than ever, because i can finally see how very broken and beautiful we are. seeing the church with Jesus' eyes made me fall in love with them again.
i know too many people who don't like the church. i know people who don't like Jesus. many use to, but now don't. i can understand why. for a lot of years i was one of those reasons why.
i wish i could go back and show them Jesus. i can't go back. but it is my desire and intention to go forward "fixing my eyes on Jesus." because i want to present Jesus to a world looking for God.