To Read on the Journey

Saturday, October 18, 2014

And I can't afford it, but it's mine (pause and see)

It's easy to look at folks around us and compare.  I do that.  I compare what I have to what others  have.  I compare then want what they have.  I can get so consumed with wanting all I perceive they have that I miss out on all I do have.  And I'm done.  Done comparing and done missing all the good things God gives me.

Over the last year the words  "And I can't afford it, but it's mine"   (click text and read original blog post), have transformed my thinking. They have caused me to pause and see and celebrate how very blessed I am.

Read another "And I can't afford it, but it's mine" post here.  
Follow my hashtag #andicantafforditbutitsmine on instagram here

Here are some recent "And I can't afford it, but it's mine"  moments.
Oh, He really is so incredibly good to me!

Skipping across a field of whimsical hot air balloons with Josie, each of us with a camera in hand, ready to capture beauty. Photography is worship- it causes us to pause and see and celebrate.  And sharing this with my girl ~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine.     

 Listening to Michael, Noah, and Emilie share about their backpacking adventure.  Hearing about the vastness of beauty they experienced in creation AND in each other~  and I can't afford it, but it's mine. 

An exciting opportunity was offered to Michael.  I'm beyond thrilled for him.  My guy works hard, does so much for us, faithfully, never grumbling, never complaining.
And something "wild" for my good man~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine.  

While washing dishes, out of the corner of my eye I watch Emilie and Josie sitting together at the kitchen counter. I see Josie generously share her yummy treat with Emilie.  I watch Emilie thank her, then lean over and kiss her sister's cheek. I see Josie smile, take in that she is beloved.  Oh, the way they adore each other~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine. 

 Michael and Noah seated beside each other on the couch in the early mornings, reading their bibles, sharing what they've learned~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine. 

An old classmate becoming my dear dear friend.  Our friendship is long-overdue, and yet right on time.  Our friendship is changing me. And the deep love God has filled my heart with for her~  and I can't afford it, but it's mine

One early morning a week, with a few women who are wild about God and His word; sharing how it's teaching and nudging and changing us, while drinking the best coffee this side of the Mississippi~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine. 

18 teenagers at our casa for an epic Nacho Libre night...and that my kids want their amigos here~  and I can't afford it, but it's mine. 

Michael and Josie in the kitchen making Cinnamon scones. The gentle way he teaches her, the delight in her voice just being with her daddy, the smell of scones baking.  So much yummy happening in our kitchen~ and I can't afford it but, it's mine. 
  A health issue surfaced.  The physical discomfort was rough.  But God.  His Spirit kept bringing to mind, "In me you have Peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33. He kept reminding me that Peace is already mine, and if I want it then I must grab hold of it.  Want to know something?  Even though I wasn't improving physically, I felt so so so much healthier.  Instead of letting the usual guilt, anger, sadness, bitterness, and frustration grab hold of me- I grabbed hold of Peace. Oh, sweet Peace~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine.  

After realizing there weren't dinner plans-
Noah: girls what do you want me to make you for dinner?
Girls: speechless due to SHOCK! 
Noah: Waffles. I can make you waffles (not Eggos, not from a box, from scratch folks).
Girls: Uhhhhh, okaaaayyy.
And Noah taking care of his sisters~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine. 

A friend coming over, just to be with me, interrupting the nagging pain with her sweet presence for a few hours~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine.

18 married years to Michael-  we had sweet plans for our 18th anniversary, plans that were disrupted by my health issues. So I laid down all day while he shampooed the carpets and upholstery (which by the way is exactly how we spent our 1st anniversary).  And we were both so okay with it.  At one point during the day I was thinking about our wedding day and the vows we made- "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; for as long as you both shall live," and realized how very very blessed I am to be married to a man who cherishes me and delights in keeping those promises~  and I can't afford it, but it's mine.

Noah's hugs- He's taller than me now, and I just love being able to rest my head on his shoulder and nestle into him.  Our roles here have swapped.  And he likes that. He's likes being my young man, caring for, and holding me. The way this kid expresses his love for me ~ and I can't afford it, but it's mine.

Live in Peace!

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. 
Colossians 3:15


Jessica Johnson said...

These words are beautiful, friend. What a heavenly and Godly perspective. Thank you for the reminder.

Tegan | Celebrate Twelve13 said...

I couldn't agree more with Jessica. Praying for you right this moment and I love seeing the "I can't afford it" posts on Instagram too.