To Read on the Journey

Friday, November 11, 2011

"Hold You"

joining gypsy mama and linking up with 5 minutes on friday.
just writing, not editing- my grammar, my thoughts.  just writing.

i haven't been in a very good place... in my mind.  i could give a handful of reasons, preexisting conditions, that can cause me to spiral downward if i let them.  i let them.  as usual i am so disappointed with myself.  i'm ashamed. God serves freedom to me on an all-you-can-eat-buffet!  and here i am spiraling.
spiraling and ashamed i was standing in church a few weeks ago worshiping.  standing.  singing these words.
You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting

Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

My heart will sing
no other name
Jesus, Jesus

Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

i heard once that to worship means "to come towards to kiss."  i needed to kiss. and more i needed to be kissed by my Father. 
as i sang "i'm running to your arms, i'm running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough, nothing compares to your embrace..."  i let go of my worldy insecurity, the some-one-might- be-looking-at-me-and-think-i'm-strange, and i extended both my arms. extended them just like my son, noah, use to do when he was a toddler. noah would say, "hold you, hold you."   "hold You," i said.  and He lifted me up into His arms.  He did.  i felt his mighty hands reach under my arms and swoop me up.  i felt my toes leave the earth.  my head nestled into His chest. "nothing compares to Your embrace."   
i'm still a mess. a mess, but  here is what i know for sure right now... God is good to me even when there is nothing good in me.  i'm a mess, but He loves me, wants to hold me still. 
i love him. 

listen to the song here. 


Sandra Heska King said...

Here from Lisa Jo's place.

Running. Running.

Hold you. Hold you.

Nothing compares to His embrace.

This is beautiful! I needed it today. Thank you!

Kathleen said...

I am so sorry to hear you aren't yourself.

Worship (which I know should be life itself, but that's something I work on constantly) is that time to just be held and sometimes that can be so hard.

Sending love your way, dear friend. And prayers for joy.

Thea Nelson said...

Oh, my word. I can relate!! YOU are good, YOU are good, when there's nothing good in me. I think we're in a similar place, Denise--I wrote surprisingly similar words this morning! We are weak. But His power is made perfect in our weaknesses!! Love to you.

Melanie said...

Thank you for being real. We need this so much. Praying for you, sweet friend. Cling to Him.

Now following your blog, and look forward to reading more from you!


Paige said...

I understand! I am praying with you!


Anonymous said...

Sending you a (((hug))) today. I'm glad you're leaning into His arms. I think He understands our times of darkness.

Wonder said...

love this is so weird how we can "talk" / comment :) with people we haven't met and they feel like friends. We sang the contemp. version of Come Thou Fount and I thought of your other post. May Jesus comfort you as you go through the "stuff" of life. ☺ Annette

Chrissy said...

You have been such a blessing to me, and are such a wonderful woman of FAITH.

I've been where you are before. I'm currently reading 'Grace for the Good Girl' by emily freeman, and I can say, it is life changing.

Praying for you.

Psalm 116:7

Kayla Sue said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful song of worship. And you may be a human mess, but in the eyes of God you are a walking, breathing wonder... a child of His own.

Leslie @ top of the page said...

oh my gosh i LOVE that song. we sing it in church too, and i MELT at the brige: my heart will sing NO OTHER NAME BUT JESUS. that part just brings me exactly to the place i want to STAY. no other name. nothing else. fix my eyes and stay. it is so hard, but i'm so so thankful for those moments when He parents us, draws near to us, and still. still! delights in who we are. bless you this weekend. you are exactly where you need to be. in His arms. the lies and fears won't dare come near you there.

Sandy said...

Praying for you. ♥

hannah singer said...

denise, i'm so grateful that you shared.
i'm so grateful for YOU.

praise jesus for his never failing faithfulness to hold onto us!! love you.

Linda Z said...

This is so beautiful Denise. I'm a mess, too. Reaching my arms out just like you. Spiraling, but holding on the the truths, the promises, the fact that their is grace beyond my own comprehension.

Keep reaching out and holding on, friend.

I love you.

Stacy said...

I have been the same as you lately and was looking for a little inspiration....I found it...So just a simple "thank you"...xxoo

Jessica Johnson said...

you are a beautiful mess. we are all messes, right? some days are just less messy than others. will be praying for you. that you would be of sound body and spirit. preach the gospel to yourself, girl! every minute. love you.