"Hold You"

joining gypsy mama and linking up with 5 minutes on friday.

just writing, not editing- my grammar, my thoughts.  just writing.

i haven't been in a very good place... in my mind.  i could give a handful of reasons, preexisting conditions, that can cause me to spiral downward if i let them.  i let them.  as usual i am so disappointed with myself.  i'm ashamed. God serves freedom to me on an all-you-can-eat-buffet!  and here i am spiraling.

spiraling and ashamed i was standing in church a few weeks ago worshiping.  standing.  singing these words.
  

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting

Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

My heart will sing
no other name
Jesus, Jesus

Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

i heard once that to worship means "to come towards to kiss."  i needed to kiss. and more i needed to be kissed by my Father. 

as i sang "i'm running to your arms, i'm running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough, nothing compares to your embrace..."  i let go of my worldy insecurity, the some-one-might- be-looking-at-me-and-think-i'm-strange, and i extended both my arms. extended them just like my son, noah, use to do when he was a toddler. noah would say, "hold you, hold you."   "hold You," i said.  and He lifted me up into His arms.  He did.  i felt his mighty hands reach under my arms and swoop me up.  i felt my toes leave the earth.  my head nestled into His chest. "nothing compares to Your embrace."   
 

i'm still a mess. a mess, but  here is what i know for sure right now... God is good to me even when there is nothing good in me.  i'm a mess, but He loves me, wants to hold me still. 

i love him. 

listen to the song here.