To Read on the Journey

Thursday, January 28, 2010

What's in a name -part 2

I'm here to rewrite this tragedy
One line at a time

Hold on,
I'm changing all the scenery

It's okay we'll be fine

Cause we know how this ends
We know there's a better story

There's a better story
Of true love
Of true grace

There's the hope of glory

And our first chance to be truly brave

It's the place we're going

When we can't stay where we are

Rewrite This Tragedy
, by Sara Groves

As I shared in a previous post, "What's in a name?"
The meaning of my last name Jones means "Yahweh is gracious."

I looked up the meaning of my maiden (now middle name), Teodosio. It comes from the Greek word, Theodosius. Theo means "God," and dosis means "Gift" and "Giver."

Have you experienced those moments where God rewrites your story? The moments where you look back, but instead of seeing tragedy, God is present, whispering in your ear, telling you the truth about who you are, showing you that you were in His hand, and indeed His all along.
From that moment on you never look at that situation the same, you look at it with God present, with God's hand on your life.

Over the past few days, since discovering the meaning of my birth name, God has been rewriting my line at a time.

He started at my birth...

To be rejected by your father is a tragic story, it is the story I have lived my entire life. My earth father, Joe Teodosio, arrived at the hospital after my teenage mother gave birth to me, took one look at his 5lb 12 oz baby girl, and said, "she's not my daughter." Over the next 35 years there were too many encounters where he made sure I understood my nonexistent place in his world.

But God...

over the past few days, God's Spirit has taken me back to that hospital room, to my infant cradle. Back to a scene whose story has haunted me, and He has rewritten it. I see him draped over me, God with me. I hear him whisper in my curly, little ear, "Denise, you are a God Gift."... "Denise you are My Gift."

He has taken me through other scenes in my play, rewriting my story, making the character in my story different than it was in the beginning.

There's a better story even in the broken story. God is walking me through the better story, and I'm living it.

But not only is He walking me through yesterday, He is showing me today. Whispering in my 36 year old ear, telling me who I am... "Denise you are God Giver."

Could I be God Giver?

I want to be. More than anything I want to be.

When the last chapter of my story is is read I want it to be said of me, " Denise was a God Giver."

Who does God say you are?

Is God rewriting tragedy in your life?


Lynn said...

Thought provoking, encouraging, hopeful. Thank you for sharing your heart. It's beautiful.

I love that you love Sarah Groves. Do you have her new album (Fireflies and Songs)? My husband and I think it is the best one yet. "Different Kind of Happy" is my new favorite song.

Thea Nelson said...

Denise, you are most definitely a God-giver. To Michael, Noah, Emilie and Josie, sure. But it doesn't stop there. Your life is all about speaking His praises! You are such a picture of redemption, Denise.

Michelle said...

Its funny how we allow our non-existent earthly fathers to determine who we are. Luckily, our "real" Father, reminds us who we are- HIS!

Julie said...

Denise, this was absolutely beautiful... I loved reading every word. I am so glad you stopped by my blog and visited me. I'm so glad I came here. I can see we share some similar interests...books, quotes .... and home schooling. I'm in my 18th year of home schooling...

My middle name is Lamar. Being from the South, Lamar is a boy's name, mostly. But for my family it was the middle name of the girls, my mother, my grandmother and then me... When I was born my parents were expecting a boy... so much so that they didn't have a girl's name picked out. For 3 days I lay in the nursery of the hospital waiting to be named.

When I heard that story I believed something about myself. I felt like I was not what my parents wanted and had ruined everything. It's not what really happened, it's what I believed based on what I had been told.

My mother was named a middle name and hated it. I asked her once why she named me that if she hated it. She said she wanted to pass the family name along. I was made fun of in junior high school because of that middle name.

One day God decided He wanted to talk to me about it. He spent a great deal of time telling me that I was not a mistake.. I was exactly what He had designed me to be and that my name was chosen by Him.
I was always told that Lamar meant "loyal".... Julie means "youthful one". I am definitely youthful in my spirit. I've always been very inquisitive of God, much like my young children are with me.

I love when God redeems our past... and tells us the truth. It truly does set us free.

I am so glad to meet you. I would love to visit you again. Do you have a way to sign up to receive emails when you post... or a way to follow your blog?

So blessed to have met you today.

Sandy said...

It's heartwarming to read about how you are being "transformed by the renewing of your mind" to know how much God loves you and ALWAYS has.

You truly are a God Giver. You affect people's lives by your gracious words and deeds.

Simply Sara said...

I am in tears... because I know the fullness of what you are talking about.
A few years ago God brought me back to moments in my life when I felt all alone/abandoned, to show me where He was... in the hospital when my mom died... growing up with a Dad who tried his best but hurt me many times with his words... to my days of self-destruction. HE was there. He was always there. To see Him in my story changed it. It completely changed me.

Oh Denise, I can't think of a better name for you. "God Giver"
Truly through and through YOU ARE A GOD GIVER.
In every way.

You are beautiful friend.

Home's Where My Heart Is said...

I wish I could translate into words what my heart and spirit are saying right now. So many thoughts and emotions- it's hard to know where to start and what to say. You are an amazing, beautiful woman. For sure a gift giver, but also a gift.
It is so heartbreaking that you had to experience this. But you are an over comer and you know who you are in Christ, and that is so beautiful.
Thank you for sharing and inspiring.

Linda Z said...

It's beautiful to see how God is redeeming your name for His glory! Names are super important to me as well. Joshua (God is my salvation) was named after we went through a church split. That was the only thing we knew for sure. Jason Travis (Healer at the crossroads)was because God brought us through very difficult times in our marriage!

God is good, and your life, indeed, is God giving! :)

denise said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing another part of your story. I love these gems I discover on your blog.