To Read on the Journey

Friday, June 26, 2009

letting go doesn't get easier

i'm preparing to let go again.

preparing comes in the packing, clothes labeling, ironing (yes, i'm o.c.d.), and miscellaneous item gathering (mommy's think of everything).
preparing comes in readying myself to be absent from their presence for 2 whole weeks.
preparing comes in trusting Jesus to hold them, cover them, lead them, teach them, inspire, and grow them without my influence.

i thought it would get easier, letting go, but it doesn't.

i am selfish. i want to hold on tight.
but i won't.
instead i will put on my brave mommy face, smile, and cheer them on to camp, on to their adventure.
and when they aren't looking, when i am back in the van, on my way home, to where i know it will be much too quiet, i'll take my brave mommy face off, and have a short missing-them-already cry.

and when i am done, i will resume the preparing.
preparing for 2 weeks with just josie, making memories with just her.
preparing letters and packages for their camp mail. :-)
preparing to hold them again when they return.
preparing to let them go again when it is time.


Simply Sara said...

Aww... I can't bear the thought of letting go either.

BUT you are a GREAT mommy, for letting them go :)

Heart2Heart said...

Ah the joys of summer camp. I am so looking forward to my kids going. It will be like it was pre-kids at least for a little while.

I'll miss them but I know they will be back. They will have cell phones as well, so mom is only a phone call away.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Denise said...

my kids can't have cell phones at camp. they cannot call me at all. they send just one form letter. i am pretty much cut off from them!
but it is good for them to separate themselves from home and fully jump into the camp experience.

Kristen said...

you are so brave - so much more brave than i am. i am not good at letting go at all!!!

i know the kids will have a great time at camp and josephine (as Landon refers to her) will love having her mommy to herself for a few weeks.

Laurie Allen said...

Hi Denise, Aww the summer camp years - I miss them ! I am on a different letting go stage (but yet the same) My 17 year old, Jess, can't wait to launch into Life. I too have lots of those Mom crys - yes! letting go doesn't get easier. But that's just Life

Enjoy your one-on-one time with your little Josie (and Michael)!