9 yrs ago today I discovered I was pregnant with Emilie.
I felt a bit nauseous that day, and was certain it was the flu. It had to be the flu. I had an 8 month old, was nursing, and on birth control. I had only been married a little over 2 years (we discovered we were prego with Noah just before our first anniversary). My first pregnancy with Noah was trying, as I spent the first 16 weeks draped over the porcelain throne. I lost 13lbs, gained it back, plus 63 more, yikes! And, mommy-hood was wearing on me. Noah was beautiful, and our love for him was consuming, but he was colicky, and I was wiped. Lastly, my hubby was working for a Christian Camp, and we were attempting to live on Christian camp wages.
Needless to say, that when I discovered I was pregnant, I was devastated.
There were many tears, followed by depression, followed by a mommy draped over the porcelain throne again, while attempting to care for the baby I had already, followed by more depression.
But then, 6 +months later in July (yes, she was premature) Emilie was born. And I wondered why the tears, why the concerns, why the doubt in God at His plan. He was giving me the daughter I had longed for, fulfilling a promise. I wanted Him to wait, but is it possible that He just couldn't wait another moment to give me this gift!
So, today is Emilie day! And on this day, every year, I CELEBRATE, as I should have that first day when the test read positive. I celebrate my sweet girl (now almost 8 1/2), and I celebrate God's goodness, and I wonder at the things He has planned for me that I question Him on, and I'm reminded to "Be still, and know that He is God," and to wait for Him to knock my socks off!