moment of fame

I received this phone call on Sunday from my friend Diane Vaccaro (who i should have blogged about weeks ago when she visited from Gig Harbor, Washington).


Don't you just love Diane! She is a beautiful, enthusiastic, contagious person! (but i still wouldn't share my nachos with her- an upcoming post :-))

Here is Beth Moore's promo video.
http://lifeway.edgeboss.net/download/lifeway/events/lpl_promo0313_lo.mov

I have done many of Beth Moore's studies, and attended Beth Moore's conference in Dec. 06. The conference was "wonderful," and i did "enter into the mystery" of God.
If you are looking for a great, challenging, life-moving bible study, i encourage you to check out any of Beth Moore's studies.

Fake it till you make it

I have heard this phrase a lot,"fake it till you make it."
Fake the- emotions, fitting in, the ability, the desire.
Sometimes faking it is necessary. If I didn't, I would stay home on my couch and choose not to engage. I would isolate myself when fear set in, I would sit in disbelief thinking myself incapable. If I didn't fake it, I would miss out on many blessings.

I have been reading C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity. He talks about 'dressing up' like Christ.

For many of my Christ-life years I played dress up, playing a part I wanted to be ("I" being the keyword in the sentence). I dressed up as perfect Christian high schooler, Christian youth leader, intern, Christian preschool teacher, Christian camp employee, Christian friend, Christian wife, Christian parent with perfect kids, Christian wedding coordinator, nursery coordinator, Christian mentor, Bible-study leader, MOPS leader,and worship leader.

Now, I am not saying that these things are bad. I believe that God wanted me to be a part of these ministries. There have been too many blessings to count being a part of these ministries. But, sadly I wonder if I missed out on the GREATEST BLESSING- Jesus.
Instead of putting on Jesus, I put on pride with each new ministry. And I believed I was something. I really wanted to be something, because for too many years I had felt like a nothing.

Here is a conversation I had 5 yrs ago with a girl I mentored (a conversation I had when I thought I was something), "if God is making us perfect, finishing us to completion, well I'm there, He might as well take me home."
Can I just say ICK!!

PRAISE GOD that, "He builds it up, and He knocks it down, just to build it up even stronger"(words from Jill Phillips song Wrecking Ball).

I confess, I struggle. I want to be somebody, valued, wanted, needed, desired, treasured, believed in, capable, beautiful.... And it is hard to set this want aside, and put on Christ.
And I can't. But He can.

I know now that God is making me nothing, so that He can be the Something, the EVERYTHING, in my life.
But it isn't easy.

"The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to 'inject' His kind of life and thought, into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin."

a trace of that mysterious unity

Longing

"Even in childhood was implanted within me a trace of that mysterious unity from which I was derived"
St. Augustine


Last week marked the 20th anniversary of when I gave my life to Jesus. It seems though that I have always known Him. In the depths of me there was always a knowing, longing, missing, wanting of Him. At one time I would have thought that after 20 yrs of living this Christ-life that longing would lessen. Now I know the longing becomes greater. I want more of that "mysterious unity."

20 yrs

This is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the day, this is the day,
That the Lord has made.

Lake House

The in-laws have a beautiful home on Bass Lake which they rent out weekly for the summers. However, they are renter-less for 2 weeks. So, when my mother-in-law asked if we wanted to
come and stay during that time, I quickly responded with a, "YES!"
We are loving the beauty of the lake, relaxing (away from the pressure of the to-do's at home), swimming, tanning, magazine browsing, reading, running, canoe rides with Noah, and evening walks to The Pines for ice cream. We especially love how popular we are! Our social calendar is very full now that we are at the lake. We have play-dates everyday (which makes this extroverted, lover of people, very happy)!


(i am having difficulty uploading the desired photos, ugghh! that means there will be much more to share later).