I blinked and 16

On the eve of Noah's first birthday I sat on the edge of my bed sobbing, "I only have 17 years left!"
I cried like my world was falling apart.
It didn't help that I was 4+ months pregnant with Emilie. 
Poor Michael. 
He had no idea what to do with me.

I blinked and Noah was 1.
And on the eve of his first birthday I knew, knew this time, it's sacred.

Sacred- 

Highly valued and important: deserving great respect

Devoted exclusively to one service or purpose 

Dedicated or set apart for the service of worship

What we parents do is sacred.
It's highly valuable, AND it is "set apart for the service of worship."

Last week, I blinked and Noah was 16.
Seriously, blinked and *snap,* 16!

On his birthday I was reading Proverbs 2, reading in the first few verses about gaining wisdom and instruction, understanding words of insight, learning discretion, and then verse 8 caught my attention- 
"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching." 

And as I read I thought about this sacred, and that Michael and I are to instruct and teach our children to be wise, to understand words of insight, to use discretion; that that is our "service of worship" to the Lord our God.  

Next to my marriage, I don't think anything else I do (Michael and I do) this side of Heaven matters more.

Other things use to matter more, though.  A lot of other things.

The one reoccurring thing was this thought that I needed to be somebody, which meant that in other people's eyes which meant that in my own eyes, I had to amount to something; be successful.  

The honest truth is that more times than I care to count I've put my kids (my marriage, too) on the back-burner so that I could pursue those things, so that I could think and feel for a nanosecond that I had value.

But God.

Thankfully, He is my parent, who instructs and teaches me... and oh, do I need parenting!

And just like our kids need us to steer them in the right direction, I desperately need my Father to redirect me to wisdom, insight, and discretion, too.
 
Because the Lord God loves me so wildly, He brings me back to where my desire truly is- 
here in my home, 
to the "right before my eyes," 
so that I won't blink and miss this, 
His sacred.

   

(Video originally posted Mother's Day, 2009) 

"Sacred" by Caedmon's Call

this house is a good mess
it’s the proof of life
no way would I trade jobs
but it don’t pay overtime

I’ll get to the laundry
I don’t know when
I’m saying a prayer tonight
cause tomorrow it starts again

could it be that everything is sacred?
and all this time
everything I’ve dreamed of
has been right before my eyes

the children are sleeping
but they’re running through my mind
the sun makes them happy
and the music makes them unwind

my cup runneth over
and I worry about the stain
teach me to run to You
like they run to me for every little thing

when I forget to drink from you
I can feel the banks harden
Lord, make me like a stream
to feed the garden

wake up, little sleeper
the Lord, God Almighty
made your Mama keeper
so rise and shine,rise and shine
rise and shine cause

everything is sacred
and all this time
everything I’ve dreamed of
has been right before my eyes

Happy Mothers Day! 

 Live in Peace,